The Sword of the Young Mormon Adult

The gospel is the sword which divides a slashing line between the world and God, between Zion and Babylon, between truth and lies, between reality and illusion.

It not only divides asunder the righteous from the wicked, but it divides the wicked parts of the righteous out of themselves. We are cut the bits as people by the sword of the gospel. Constantly finding fault in ourselves that divide us from ourselves. As a young adult in this world of so much sin and media, it's hard to separate ourselves fully from the world we are a part of.

The gospel has been called a refining fire. This life is a probationary "test" which can often feel like a competition. It's a survival of the fittest kind of thing as viewed by most of the world who believe in evolution. Coming home from a mission and trying to get into a good college, get good grades, find a companion, get a good job in order to provide for the family, it can feel more like a competition than anything else. Going on first dates feels more like sizing up; is this person what I'm looking for? Am I good enough for this person?

The gospel is the sword that provides peace for those that are enjoying the love of Christ and those that are suffering in a bitter world.

The gospel is also the sword which separates families and friends. Those that are living the gospel clearly feel a distinction between themselves and those they love that aren't. On the other hand, those that aren't living the gospel often feel judged by those that are.

This sword creates a dividing line that can be seen as stereotyping. It is hard to ignore from both sides of the line, yet we are told that all people are the same, that we should not judge.

Being a bystander in the slavery of the soul

A dear friend of mine, one with whom my heart draws unto often, has recently fallen back into old traps. Bad habits and old ways seem to evade this man's territory and win the battle over future goals and ambitions. Everyone around him seek to support and uplift during such times, when his world seems to crumble under unstable footing for all to see except him. How is it, that walls can come crashing down in the house of one's life, walls that took such hard work and vision to build, and the builder not seem to notice their destruction?

All of a sudden, nothing else matters. Just getting his dirty secret, which no longer needs to be kept a secret. "After all, if people don't accept this about me, they must be rejecting all of me? If that's the case, did they ever really love me in the first place? Why should I even care what these people think? I much prefer the company of those who accept me for who I am."  he thinks to himself.

The hardest emotions to muster through such experiences come surprisingly from the emotions of another. His girlfriend asks me to watch out for him in genuine concern for his well being. "It makes me really sad that he has all these amazing goals in life and has the potential to reach them but then he chooses to smoke and all of a sudden none of that is important to him anymore. I think that's what hurts me the most outta all this," she says to me. What am I to think? What am I to feel? 

So the predictable patterns goes: a few months of idleness and depreciation go by, close ties are re-established in the need for help, support and motivation come with flowers and love, new goals are set, a few weeks or months go by, and the war begins to rage from within again. Unfortunately, this is a battle he can't win. When all of his soldiers come to the front lines, they are smitten and brought low and depression and hopelessness takes over. Freshly rebuilt walls built on a sandy foundation can't stand the blows of this enemy. The walls crumble, the pictures on the wall fall to the  floor, the mirrors on the wall and glass windows shatter. He is left homeless and friendless; but he's got his fix, so for the moment, he's happy.

The greatest fear for those that love such a man is that one day rock bottom will be to much to bear. Without the hands of Christ to bear him up, can such a man fight the seeds of depression which roots run too deep to pull out? They have encircled the heart, squeezing out all hope of anything better. What now? A blackened heart of heartbreak and shame. The only escape: a rope in a bathroom. Please, not again. 

How can you help such a man? Who is breaking apart into a million pieces from the explosions of the bombs he himself has set around himself with such precision and care, to which he lights the fuse with a grin on face? What is it that could possibly break this rhythm? Who is the angel that will enter this man's life that will show him the light? It's often a 3rd party member which would be least expected. I guess I continue to stand as a light, not a judge, continuing to pray with vision that God knows this good man more than I do, loves him more than I do. Watching those you love fade into the mists of darkness far from the path of safety toward the tree of light may be the hardest part of such a path.

Short Book Review: The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald

I listened to this as an audiobook and had to listen to it twice due to its stunning rhetoric and literary genius. To be honest, the first time through, it was hard for me to focus on the story going on because of Fitzgerald's amazing command over the english language. I got lost in his portrayals of people, places, and events. Every sentence in The Great Gatsby is a masterpiece. I can see why it is one of the most acclaimed American novels ever written. However, this only heightened the experience the second time through when I was able to follow the story while being dazzled by its imageries. 

Aside from the comforting and pleasurable aspect of just listening to the descriptions of The Great Gatsby (which will take anyone to pinnacle imaginative altitudes), the plot and story are sharp and cutting. The character development is intriguing, as I was always going back and forth on how I felt about each character. At one point I would feel connected and respectful toward a character, then immediately the imitation and acrylic would crumble away only to expose an empty corrosive soul. By the end, humanity seems but an egoistic breed which only seeks to be seen without care for what is actually real.

The calculation of the thickening plot was impressive. So many weaving elements of the story come together: prior details that seem just details become important features to bring the story to climax. Gatsby in the end is one that reminded me of so many, flashy and presentable, one who always seems to look the perfect part, yet, just like the rest but far more extreme.

I recommend this book to all people.You will be quickly removed from any thoughts of your world by the book's beautiful tapestry and you will be sucked into the vintage jazz age of the 1920's where the only thing that mattered was how it looked.

Thanks for loving me enough to cut me down

While hitchhiking yesterday, Lauren and I were picked up by a smart British man who loved talking. He shared a lot of political information, but then began sharing his core life philosophies. He began talking about how you can never know where life will take you. "You reach forks in the road, and turn left or right. You can only know if it was the right choice after a long time has passed and you can look back retrospectively."

He then said something that was precisely what I needed to hear: "The greatest growth you'll experience in your life will be during the times you feel you are having everything taken away from you. Looking back, those choices that seem to cut you down, those times when things are the hardest and you are facing adversity are the times that you'll realize are the ones that really got you somewhere."

I've recently felt like much has been "taken away" from me. I've known from the beginning that it was God's plan for me, and that He has a wiser purpose and grander vision of my life than I ever could; but I've still felt recently like I've been taking steps "backward" in life, rather than forward. I've questioned God's planning often lately; not skeptically, but wondering if I've just lost my path. "Am I going the right way, God? because it feels like things are falling apart for me more than coming together right now," have been some recent thoughts.

I'm thankful for a wife who may not think like me, but has amazing and broad vision of what is really important and good. She is the bird's eye view of perspective when I'm the worm's eye view of specificity. I'm grateful to have a companion that makes up for my weaknesses. I'm grateful to a Heavenly Father who isn't afraid to cut me down. He loves me enough to chasten me (Mosiah 23: 21-22; D&C 101: 5; Hebrews 12: 10)

Like Hugh B. Brown, I am grateful to the Gardener who knows what kind of plant He wants me to grow into. It's not an easy or fun process to be clipped, pruned, chopped, and beautified by the Master Gardener. It hurts to be cut down sometimes, maybe only because we are worried about what the other plants in the garden will think of us now that we're cut down. But He knows exactly what we can become, and what we should become!

Short Book Review: Ender's Game - Orson Scott Card

I am not usually a fictional reader. I've read less than a dozen fiction books in my entire life. I usually read spiritual type books, or self-help type books. I read mostly for the sake of motivation and inspiration. Surprisingly, I got both of those with a splash of complexity and creativity while reading
Ender's Game.

Ender's game is fun because it's an easy-read book. The language is simple, yet Orson Scott Card has a way of describing people and settings that allows your mind to instantly be in the setting.

It was easy to connect with the characters in the book, especially Ender. I felt bad for him while he was being trained to become a warfare mastermind. The rigorous training he went through reminds me of the training all people go through in life. I believe God teaches as line upon line, precept upon precept. He tests us just enough to get us to the next stage of grace, then raises us grace for grace through trials, adversity, blessings, experiences, learning, mistakes. He will train as and help us become like Him through the grace of His son's atonement. As we come unto Christ, we can expect that we won't be swimming in shallow water, but deep water will be what we are want to swim.

Ender became a well-calculated killing mind, but deep down he never wanted to do any of it. So many people in power would be fine "cracking a few eggs along the way." Ender felt bad for every misfortune others had to pay at his expense. It was fun to see Ender's evolution as a person and how it corresponded with Valentine and Peter's. Witty and genius, Ender's Game has so much fun to offer, yet inspires and expands the mind at the same time.

Short Book Review: The Continuous Conversion - Brad Wilcox

If anyone has ever heard Brad Wilcox speak, or have read one of his books, they have become an instant fan of his! He's absolutely amazing! I read his first book, "The Continuous Atonement" while I was serving a mission in Pittsburgh about 4 years ago. It changed my entire experience with Jesus Christ. My understanding of how the atonement works changed forever. My focus on works shifted instead to faith and grace which allowed my good works to flow naturally, rather than being the focus.

Brad Wilcox, in his new book, "The Continuous Conversion," takes his ideas from "The Continuous Atonement," and expands them to the daily application of faith and grace through the atonement of Jesus Christ. As I read his book, I quickly realized that in many instances in my life, I'm trying to "prove" myself to God and "earn" my way into heaven through my perceived righteousness and good works. Brad helped me discover that this life is not about earning anything. 

Heaven is a place for people who have learned how to be like God. That process of conversion is continuous and works through the continuous atonement via our ongoing relationship with Jesus Christ, who is "the way, the truth, and the life" (John 14: 6). As we embrace our Savior fully, and trust that "His grace is sufficient" (2 Corinthians 12:9). I now see every step forward that I take in my life as a reflection of my experience with Christ's grace through His virtuous and generous atonement. Of myself, I am nothing, through Christ, every step I take through faith and repentance is a lovely process of coming at-one with Him, which is eternal life and bliss! Life is beautiful.

To order: The Continuous Conversion - CLICK HERE

Here is Brad giving a talk on topics held within this book, it will rock your world!

Short Book Review: Act in Doctrine - David A. Bednar

This is a beautiful book spoken by a powerful disciple of Jesus Christ. Elder Bednar is so straightforward that it is very hard to misunderstand what he's saying. This book has helped me more fully understand who Christ really is at the core as a person. While reading this book, it was constantly on my mind that there is a right way to live the gospel and there is a sub-par way to live the gospel. The right and best way to live the gospel is to live as Christ lived it, by looking outward and serving others. The subpar way to live the gospel is by looking inward and thinking about
ourselves, which is characteristic of my life.

The things that really caught my attention in this book are as follows:

1. The character of Jesus Christ as a person is fundamentally outward-focused, even in the most intense of personal moments. For example, after fasting for 40 days and in personal starvation, He recognized the hunger in others and fed them loaves and fishes. Again, while hanging on the cross in absolute torment, bearing the sins of the world, with a literal broken heart, Christ asked the Father, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." The character of Christ as a person is to focus on other people. He is the prime example of losing His life and finding it.

2. Agency is not freedom to act. Agency is contextual, it has bounds, and it's different for everyone. Our agency represents the quality of our relationship with Jesus Christ. As agents, we as members of Christ's church are to represent Him. Thus, our agency is expanded as we more fully represent Him as His agent, and it is constricted as we chose to represent sin.

3. Testimony and Conversion and different. They are in relation to each other and can't be defined without one another. But to know the church is true (testimony) is not enough in the Latter-days; we must also be true to the church consistently (conversion). Our conversion is the gift we give back to our Heavenly Father for the gift of testimony that He bestowed upon us through the Holy Ghost.

4. Charity, like truth, is not something a person can possess or acquire. Rather, charity possess a person who is a truly follower of Christ. Thus, charity and truth are more relational that objects we obtain. Charity is the pure love of Christ, and whosoever is found possessed of it, it shall be well with Him (Moroni 7: 45-48).

To order: Act in Doctrine CLICK HERE